I seek entrance into the sacred space inside. Maybe it is my heart that I seek? The key is here somewhere, I bet it is in one of my pockets, but the lock, now where did I put the lock? Within these fences made up of ribs, there are birds with golden halos and dogs speaking in Latin that might confuse the unwary. There are many wonderful and strange things in this land. And, everything there is sacred and holy.
Sometimes, the creatures escape the cage and I paint them. They are all very secretive and are capable of tip-toeing without making even the slightest sound. I see them late at night and in the dark and sometimes while I am dreaming. They are very powerful totems; they are allies of immense persuasion. I have been hypnotized by them, and, I must warn you that there is no protection from their many powers. They cast spells that look like sparks and like lightning and in the aftermath of these storms, serenity, peace, and stillness can be felt.
When I am able to touch them, I receive the gifts of holy fire. But, I find that when I pick up my brush to paint them, they become illusive and subtle and are quick to divert my attention from the task at hand. My anguish in this life is that no one else will ever really see them the way I do. They are creatures of spirit: they are darting shadows that you spot out of the corner of an eye. They whisper the solutions to all of life’s most profound mysteries. Oh, I have tried so many times to tell their stories and I will continue to try, but, how do you paint the magic of God? How do you tell the stories of the heart…without breaking it?
These are my wishes.
A LITTLE ABOUT ME
It is certainly possible that I was a virgin birth. There are many conflicting accounts of that auspicious day. In order to fend off all of the doubting Debbies out there, just let me say that I have proof! My psychic has confirmed all of this in writing. We also know that it happened in Daytona Beach, Florida, in 1961. How bleak was my puberty! My family moved from town to town due to some scandalous family secrets which eventually caught up with all of us. I learned to cope with the consistent tormenting from my fellow students by spending almost all of my time alone. I read voraciously. I also taught myself to draw. I look back at those early drawings but I do not see even a glimmer of my future life-calling.
College was a huge disappointment. I was kicked out of several classes because I called into question the opinions and skills of my professors. I suppose I could have been a little more understanding of their situations. I mean, who wants to teach bratty college kids when you could be painting?
My career as an artist actually began during a critique, when I was told by a now famous New York artist to go away and bring back some “real paintings”. I was so determined that I went back twice more to this same artist until he finally loved my work and helped get me into my first gallery. I suppose I will always owe him for that. I was also studying from another wonderful artist that supported me in not only switching mediums but charging large sums for my paintings. In fact, she ran into my first group show at the M. A. Doran Gallery and bought my painting. I will always owe her for that (thanks Sabine).
My early career was shaped by outside forces and I became a portrait painter. My inner voice was so shy that I did not even know I had one. Oh, I was having visions but they have wonderful drugs on the market to stop those from happening, now. It took years of teaching art and painting sweet paintings before the spirits finally forced me to quit all the medicine and to sell my house and move out of the country. I am now living in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico, and pursuing my heart’s desire. This is a beautiful country that embraces the insane and the artistic with open arms.
Hmmm, what will the future hold?
SOME PAST GALLERIES:
The M. A. Doran Gallery, Tulsa, Oklahoma; The Meyer Gallery, Santa Fe, New Mexico; The Philbrook Museum of Art, Tulsa, Oklahoma; The Joseph Gierek Fine Art, Tulsa, Oklahoma; The Mayfest International Gallery, Tulsa, Oklahoma; The Generator Gallery, San Miguel de Allende, Mexico; The Joy Reed Belt Gallery, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma; The Galeria Presidencia, San Miguel de Allende, Mexico; The Governor’s Gallery, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma; The IAO Gallery, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma; Galeria Edward Swift, San Miguel de Allende, Mexico; and, The Vandiver Gallery, San Miguel de Allende, Mexico.
You may visit me at my gallery (Galeria Vandiver) in the Fabrica la Aurora, in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico.